bran muffins

Grandma Anne's Backside Salvation Bran Muffins
Two hours after consuming two muffins, do not travel so far from a restroom that you could not be present and accounted for within 49 seconds.  You may jump on a trampoline insomuch as you think it wise to buy new pants.  Give two muffins to your boss the morning of a day with an afternoon meeting you would like to see adjourn early, preferably on a sunny day.  Do not, under any circumstances, consume more than 12 muffins in one day.

Ingredients

• 3 cups all-bran cereal
• 1 cup boiling water
• 2 cups buttermilk
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 1/2 cup butter
• 2 eggs
• 2 1/2 cups flour
• 2 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1 tsp salt

 

• Preheat oven to 400 degrees

Directions

1. Mix the all-bran cereal, boiling water, and 1 cup of buttermilk and let it stand until the bran gets mushy.
2. In another bowl, blend sugar with butter, and eggs and mix.
3. Add the flour, baking soda, salt, and the other cup of buttermilk.
4. Add the bran mixture and blend well. 
5. Cover tightly and refrigerate (for up to 2 months)
6. When ready to use, do not stir, place batter into greased muffin tins or in little muffin baking cups if that’s the way you roll.
7. Bake at 400 degrees Fahrenheit for 15 minutes.
8. Cool on a rack, make a slit in the top, and place a perfectly
   proportioned slab of butter between the cheeks.