Buttermilk Pancakes

West Coast Wilhelm's Fluffy Buttermilk Pancakes
Kim Holtom is a notorious pancake flattener.  As a repeat offender, she is currently banned from making pancakes in 32 states and 7 countries. The Mexican authorities are keeping a close eye on her and have dubbed her, "La gringa que aplana panqueques". She was granted amnesty in Virginia, and continues to flatten pancakes with abandon. West Coast don't play like that.
Ingredients
​ Dry Stuff
  • 3 cups all-purpose flour
  • 3 Tbsp white sugar
  • 3 tsp baking powder
  • 1 1/2 tsp baking soda
  • 3/4 tsp salt (or less)

 Wet stuff
  • 3 cups buttermilk
  • 1/2 cup milk
  • 3 eggs
  • 1/3 cup butter, melted
Directions
  1. Get 2 bowls: In a large bowl, combine the dry ingredients. In a separate bowl, mix together the wet ingredients.
  2. Keep the 2 mixtures separate (but equal) until you are ready to cook the pancakes.
  3. Heat the griddle, butter once, then wipe the butter off with a paper towel, then butter again. When it’s ready, a flick of water across the surface will bead up and sizzle.  
  4. Say the blessing.  Pancakes are best eaten hot when butter melts across the top and a little bit of steam comes out when you cut them.  If you cook them all, then say the blessing, inevitably someone gets the soggy lukewarm pancake on the bottom.  This person feels shafted, precipitating their eventual exodus from the family.
  5. Pour the wet mixture into the dry mixture, using a wooden spoon to blend.  Stir until its just blended: a lumpy spongey mixture.  Do not stir it smooth or else you will get flat pancakes and be made to wear the cone of shame.  
  6. Pour the batter onto the griddle using a 1/2 cup measuring cup.  Never push down a pancake or make it less fluffy.  This is a sacrilege, and will lead to your griddle being repossessed by hairy-armed men from New Jersey.