Deviled Eggs

There are a lot of ways to prepare eggs: scrambled, over easy, in an omelette, or just raw Rocky style.  But for some reason, it took humans until the 1880s to figure out that if you took the yolks out, mixed them with mayonnaise, and piped them back into the boiled egg, everyone would gain an extra 3 pounds at Thanksgiving. The only bad thing about making these is peeling the eggshells off the egg.  There are ways to make it happen more easily, but we can't figure it out. 
Ingredients
  • 6 eggs (or more)
  • 1 tsp dijon mustard
  • 3 Tbsp mayonnaise
  • salt, to taste
  • 1/4 tsp ground black pepper
  • Paprika for garnish
  • snipped fresh chives to be snooty
  • 1 dash of tabasco sauce if you are randy.
Directions
1. Rinse eggs with warm water, then place them in a pot of cold water. Bring this to a boil over medium-high heat.
2. Once it is boiling, turn off the heat and let it sit for 10-12 minutes.
3. Pour out the water, rinse them in cold water (or place in ice water for a minute or two). Then peel.  
4. Swear a little as you are peeling the eggs. Not too loud, just under your breath. 
5. Once they are peeled, let them cool in the fridge sort of covered in a bowl for a dozen minutes or so.
6. Cut the eggs lengthwise, and scoop out the yolks. 
7. Place the yolks in a bowl, and mash them up. 
8. Mix in the mustard, tabasco (if you are like that, but we tend to not do that), salt, and pepper.  Stir in the mayonnaise last.
9. Put your mixture in a piping bag (if you are fancy) or just scoop it back into the eggs, eating a bit as you go.
10. Dust it with paprika, sprinkle on the chives. Serve the whole thing on a plate that makes you feel fancy. Fancy level 1: White plate, nicely arranged. Fancy level 2: Plate that was made to serve deviled eggs and has little egg cut outs. Fancy level 3: Put it in a Tupperware and get on your private jet and fly to Turks and Caicos. 

Pardon me, are you a douchebag?

Grey Poupon was developed in Dijon, France in the mid 1860s and is named after the financial backers, Maurice Grey and Auguste Poupon. However, it became iconic in the 1980s when their TV commercial aired with the famous question, "Pardon me, would you have any Grey Poupon?" I remember when this commercial came out and we started saying this everywhere, imitating the snobs in the Rolls Royces with our finest British accents. The Grey Poupon people of course laughed all the way to the bank as these commercials increased their sales by 220%.